I'll be the first to admit I had a really sour attitude going into the Spartan Race Tri-State Sprint on Saturday. While my training has been progressing, the scale has not budged for months and I'm definitely too heavy to race as competitively as I want to. Could I safely complete the course? Sure. But that really wasn't my only goal. Based off the times the previous week at Tuxedo, I needed a 1:30 finish to have a shot at qualifying for OCR World Championships. Quite frankly I was embarrassed to show up at the start line at my current weight. However, the boyfriend was racing, I was not about to pay another deferral fee, and I am very fond of the Tuxedo course. So I decided to test out my hiking legs and get my hands on some new obstacles prior to seeing them later this summer when I plan to be at a more acceptable racing weight.
I started with the obvious and analyzed my weight chart from the past year. A 30 pound gain between February and July. Are you freaking kidding me? I wrote out my 2016 troubles, as part of an exercise to accept and let go of them, making it easy to realize how this happened to me. I had spent those six months on four different types of steroids, two different types of pain killers, had surgery, experienced a two week long ocular migraine, went legally blind for a month, couldn't stand up straight for two weeks, and that's just the short list. 30 pounds in 6 months. I never understood how this could happen to people, but now I do. The weeks of physical and emotional pain, not knowing what was wrong with me or how to fix it, the mounting financial bills, having loss the ability to exercise away stress -- I relapsed into binge eating and they are not kidding about the weight coming back on faster than it came off. As someone who had spent the past 4 years slowly and consistently chipping off 60 pounds, seeing the scale climb so fast rocked me to my core. It obliterated my confidence and slowly turned my world into a gray haze.
Emilie Jones is an OCR athlete on a mission to become an Elite racer. Follow her journey through this blog and on social media.