To be completely honest, February broke me. A small cyst in my tongue that developed in December was removed at the beginning of February. Recovery was much harder and longer than anticipated. Allergy symptoms developed into swollen corneas and left me so blind I legally couldn't drive. A two week long ocular migraine crippled me for the second half of the month as my eyes fought against the swelling. The weeks of pain, pain killers, steroids, doctor's appointments, solitude, and multiplying medical bills brought on immense physical, emotional, and mental stress. I started binge eating my problems and undid months of hard work as the pounds came back on and my muscles melted away.
You can read about the race, but long story short is I finished in last place. I wasted a large chunk of time at the inverted wall with the finish line in sight. My body was exhausted, overused and all I had to do was burpee out and finish the race. I didn't have to stay and try so many times -- but I did. On that wall I proved things to myself that I had lost confidence in. Others can tell you something over and over again but until you believe it yourself they are just mere empty words. Technically the wall won, however it helped remind me that: I am capable, I am mentally and physically strong, and I am worth fighting for. Finally re-accepting those things made every ounce of effort that day worth the struggle.